A Gift

We wake up in our hammocks. Half a dozen palm trees ripe with coconuts sway in the wind overhead. Between the trees I can see patches of blue sky and hear the birds chirping away. Sometimes, the sound of the birds and a few neighborhood dogs are the only things that wake us up. On a few occasions however, a full marching band will start to play on the other side of our wall at about 7am. They also set off fireworks quite close to our sleeping heads and the buses that go to Managua (Nicaragua's capital) wail on their horns as they speed down our street. These are the sounds of our mornings. Bags and I have gotten into the habit of telling each other our dreams as soon as we wake up. Everyday I feel more and more gratitude to be experiencing this project with him.

Hula Hula Casa!

We have been in San Marcos for almost 4 weeks. We only have a few more days with the kids at Los Quinchos until their final show and then we're off to Granada for a week. After that Bags and I will be traveling by land to Mexico to teach workshops. That's right, 5 buses over about 4 days from Nicaragua to Guadalajara! 1,621 miles! Should be quite the adventure.

I can't believe how fast we are approaching the end of the project. Los Quinchos is an amazing organization in which Zelinda, an Italian woman started about 20 years ago. She came to Nicaragua as a tourist and was greatly effected by the state of children on the streets. Over time, the few kids she took in to feed has grown to 60+! There is a filter house in Managua in which some of the original street kids that Zelinda took in, now work at. They go to the street to find kids and tell them about Los Quinchos. If the kids stay at the filter house every day for a certain period of time, they get taken into the organization. They have to quit sniffing glue and any other drugs. Once they've stayed there and are cleaned up completely, they get taken to where we are now in San Marcos. Here there is a farm “la finca” that the boys live on and the girls home is called “la yahouskas” (princesses). When the boys grow to a certain age, they are moved to Casa Largo which is a lake house in Granada. All of them are put into the local schools and taught career-based skills like hammock or bread making. To think that Zelinda is a mother of sorts to so many children blows my mind. She is absolutely amazing. She dresses in beautiful, brightly colored embroidered Nicaragua garb and always has a smile for us PWB volunteers. The change she has instigated here in Nicaragua, where children living on the street is a real issue, cannot be put into words. She is a massive inspiration!

Teaching a kid from the Filter House

The kids here at Los Quinchos have impressed PWB with their enthusiasm, focus and skills in circus! I can't imagine them going through some of the experiences that they might have faced: addiction, abandonment, prostitution, starvation, abuse, rape...the list goes on. Each one of these kids is special, beautiful, bright and full of life. They no doubt have blossomed in the care of this organization; they are clean, clothed, fed, active, healthy, happy – like every child should be. No one deserves to go through what some of them have. It makes me feel a range of emotions to think about how or why the world is this way – anger, hopelessness, confusion?

Then there's this concept of fate that I have been contemplating lately. It first hit me while walking through the barrios of Leon. Whole families live in shacks with dirt floors made from scraps of metal and plastic coverings (for the roof or windows). Who decides who ends up in which life? How is it fair? To think you are just born and there you are, in whatever situation it is you ended up in. Most of the time you can't really change it drastically until adulthood and even then it's not an easy task. I understand that most people don't necessarily want to change their situation, because they're happy just the way it is. But I still can't comprehend it.

The realization of my life's truth, full of pure privilege and opportunity has me dumbfounded. Not only have I been born into a loving and caring family in Southern California, I am blessed to be in the alternative circus-dancing-expressing-art making-performing-festival going-hooping-Burning Man community. I can make my life look however I want it to. I don't have to have a 9-5, I don't have to have a husband, family, house or desk job to be fulfilled. I have learned about the other side of life – the one of traveling, performing, teaching, hooping, dancing, making art, dreaming and fulfilling my biggest aspirations. How can I share this with these kids who's mindset fits into the box that having kids well before the age of 20 is normal?

Cartwheeling Quinchos Girls

When the little Nicaraguan girls find out that I am 28 and I don't have kids, they are shocked! “Why don't you have kids?” they ask, “Don't you want them?” And I do. I do want to have a family and a house and a husband one day, but why rush it? The traveling-gypsy-nomad lifestyle can only feel glamorous for so long, and once the glimmer has faded, I would love nothing more then to share my life with a family. But there is more to my life then just that. I have other purposes, and one of them, apparently was to come here to Nicaragua to teach, inspire, play and share with these wonderful bright souls.

Now I am sitting on the second story porch of our house watching thirteen year old Belen fire hoop while a small group of her peers and the PWB team are making music for her while she spins. They are executing the body percussion that Justin taught them for their show in a couple days. Belen is one of the older girls in Los Quinchos who has displayed a high aptitude for circus skills. Since PWB visited Los Quinchos last year, the kids have created their own circus show that they perform in various places all around Nicaragua! We got to see it one day when they performed in a “lost village” of sorts. It was 10 kilometers down an unpaved dirt road, flanked by a beautiful jungle-forest and the occasional farm animal grazing. The PWB team piled into the back of a truck that kicked up mountains of dust as it drove down the bumpy track. When we arrived at the school, it was completely deserted. We all had a good laugh about that, so Nicaragua! (Where almost nothing happens on time). Eventually a whole event showed up: snacks, chairs, a sound system, an audience; all of it! Los Quinchos performed their circus show involving lots of colorful circusy costumes, stilt walking, clowning, juggling, unicycling and acrobatics. Jake and Emily from our team also joined in the show with hooping and slack-rope walking. Belen performs an acrobatic duet in the show with Miguel, both who have now learned how to spin fire this week! They have learned fire poi, hooping, staff and club juggling. All of the tools have been made here in Nicaragua by PWB! Except for the hoops – the tubing for which was graciously donated by Hoopologie and the wicks from Bendy Wicks. I have also been making dozens of hoops to be left here for the kids with the tubing and shiny tape donated by Hoopologie.

Watching Daniyuska fire hoop to one of her favorite techno pop songs was incredibly powerful. She was getting down! DANCING as that fire hoop spun around her waist, having FUN, grinning from ear to ear, exuding empowerment, confidence, sexiness – all the things I feel when I hoop. It really struck home that we have imparted an invaluable gift with them. Their potential is endless and we have lifted them up to higher heights of infinite possibility!

Daniyuska getting ready to fire hoop

During this project in San Marcos I have had the pleasure of being a Curriculum Co-Coordinator with Aileen Lawlor from the Bay Area. We have been deciding the classes that will be taught each day, where and by whom. It is a really important part of the project, which was a little intimidating at first (and still continues to be – we'll see how our final show turns out!) But I am proud of our work. Neither one of us have ever done this kind of thing before, but luckily we have some excellent team members who have! The amount of experience I feel like I've gained from this project is beyond explanation.

After we first showed up here to do our show for the kids (about a month ago), there was a free-play session with all of our circus toys and bumpin' music. It was immediately obvious that these kids have skill! I remember seeing 10-year Rafa getting down with hoops, Elliot juggling 4 balls, Daniyuska asking me to teach her hoop tricks and nailing every new one within seconds. I was blown away. Now after working with them for a month their skills have soared through the roof! I have witnessed solid foot hooping, multi-hooping, juggling (with clubs, balls and passing), diabolo tricks, wand flow, badass dancing, contact staff suaveness and stellar acrobatic achievements. Some of them literally have talent seeping out of every pore. I believe we have facilitated the realization of some of this natural talent; provided a boost in confidence, a connection between them and a healthy active hobby to be passionate about.

Most of the stripy team

On the Friday before our project finished, we did a joint show with the PWB team and the kids. We were performing for a brigade of other volunteers from the states. It was like a dry run for the BIG show on Sunday to conclude our project. If that was a dry run, I can't even imagine how amazing the final show will be! I helped facilitate the large group dance battle between the boys and the girls, the younger boys' routine, an amazing acrobatic duet between two of the older girls (Maria & Diana), a veil belly dance piece with 6 girls which concluded in group veil origami AND a hoop piece with Belen, Daniyuska, Maria and me! I am so proud of them! Their hard work has really paid off and I can see how pleased they are with themselves. Another act that stands out from Friday was a group acrobatic number including about half a dozen of the older boys. They created a lot of their own moves and pulled off some seriously challenging group acro-balance shapes. I was taken aback by their strength, confidence, trust in each other and fearlessness.

We did the big group show last night! There were about 20 acts showcasing all of the skills learned over the last month. Many of the kids really came into their own power on that stage. It was quite emotional. Lots of us (both the Quinchos and PWB team members) were in tears as we said “Adios” over and over again. I tried to explain to seach kid how wonderful they did in the show. It was difficult in my broken Spanish to get the point across but I hope they know just how proud of them I am!

Whoooooaaoooooaaaa

I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to work with PWB in Nicaragua this year. It hasn't been perfect 100% of the time but nothing is. The ups, the downs – all of it is part of the process. Going into this I knew that it would be hard at times. But I have always been up for a challenge. I love to learn. I want to take those life lesson moments and grow from them. Doing this project gave me plenty to work with! On levels of self-improvement, language and circus skills, team building, teaching and performing skills, cultural differences; I can say I have put in hard work, gained insight, experience, satisfaction and pride. I highly recommend this type of experience to anyone who is considering it.

Thank you Bags, Emily, Jake, Aileen and Justin. Thank you PWB.  

I am still fundraising the cost it has taken for me to do this important work. It will make my transition back home much easier if I can raise the rest of the funds. HERE is my fundraising campaign. 

The Teachings of Thailand

The BLISS of Tonsai on my face 

I am processing a whirlwind of adventure. An opening of the heart and the mind. A reintroduction to myself and the world. A reintroduction to life. A new outlook and fresh mindset. A renewed sense of faith in myself, humanity and mother nature.

Sounds like Burning Man, right? Well, this year my Burning Man was Thailand. All of Thailand was unforgettable but Tonsai (a unique place in the South where dramatic limestone cliffs meet the calm, flat, light blue ocean water) especially struck a cord in my heart and will forever leave an imprint on my soul. I will always be a burner. The playa goes with me everywhere I go. I mean, I'm a hula hooper for a living! If that doesn't scream Burning Man I don't know what does! I am glad, however, that I have opened myself up to other types of adventures. I have made San Diego my home, the playa is definitely my home and now so is Tonsai. I plan to actually make it my home at some point. I am already devising plans to live there :)

Sunset in Pai

I learned a lot in Thailand. Some lessons I learned were not new. But they obviously deserved rediscovery. About a week into the trip I fell while driving a motorbike in the rain. The roads were wet, the bike was in poor condition and I was having too much fun, clearly! A very nice Thai man drove me to the hospital where I was cleaned up and bandaged, given antibiotics and pain meds for about $11. Wow! That was part impressive. The rest was traumatic, painful and scary. I'm almost healed now! Just more battle-wounds for this temporary vessel we call our bodies. It occurred to me how everything can change in an instant. One second you're riding through life having a blast and the next you're a bloody, crying mess. Then you have to slow down. Slow way down. That's what I did. I was forced into a vacation from my vacation. I rested a lot. I slept. Read. Made friends. Hung out in hammocks and enjoyed staring at the Pai landscape.

Coconuts everyday!

I am humbled. 

I had an interesting epiphany about my life in San Diego. Traveling so far from home gave me a different perspective and new appreciation for my daily life. In San Diego, I am surrounded by support, love and admiration. It was hard at times (especially while I was healing from my motorbike accident) to be constantly meeting new people. I really missed my tribe! Luckily I had Leeloo with me :) When you're traveling (just like at Burning Man), no one knows who you are at home. You can be anyone you want to be! You can make up a new name for yourself, a whole new identity even! This anonymity made me appreciate everything that I have in San Diego in a whole new way. All of the friends, family, love, supportive community and inspiration that I have in my everyday life. Wow! I am truly blessed! It's funny how leaving home makes you realize what you love about home so much.  

I also realized that it is possible for me to have more than one home on this beautiful planet. It's ok to feel like you belong or you came from more than one place on Earth. Oh Tonsai!  Tonsai gave me some of the most potent natural highs I have ever felt. They came from the intense natural beauty, the rock climbing endorphines and the people. All of it made me write my version of poetry...

Hello Paradise!

I am a mermaid
I am a lion
I am One
I am one with the universe
Every one of my cells is connected to every cell in the entire universe
Every plant, animal, water, rock, grain of sand, insect
Intoxicated with Love
High on Nature
Blissfully Happy

The first day I discovered Pra Nang beach (next to Tonsai) I had what felt like a psychedelic experience while I was completely sober. I was high on nature! I kayaked to the beach with some new traveler friends. We climbed to the top of an epic cave that looked back onto the almost deserted beach. It was low tide so I was able to walk around a rock that jutted into the ocean and find a tiny little private patch of sand. Completely untouched and hidden. The little beach was at a perfect natural slant for reclining. I laid down in the sand and looked up at the limestone stalactites hanging down over my head. I rolled around in the sand as the waves lapped over my body. I couldn't stop saying, "I am One. I am One with the Universe" over and over in my head. I swam out into the extremely salty, warm, clear blue turquoise water and floated on my back looking up. The large, colorful stalactites hung over me as I lay in the ocean and let the water drops falling from the stalactites land on my face. This was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. I will never forget it!

Stalactites over the ocean

Not only did Tonsai show me a whole new understanding of the concept Unity (universal connectedness), a concept that I obviously feel strongly about, it also showed me how many other amazing skills there are to master in this life! I love to challenge myself. Especially physically. I have attempted pretty much every circus and dance skill that is somewhat accessible to me. Never have I tried rock climbing and I had no idea I was going to love it so much. Man, is it a rush! A huge challenge too. On so many levels...physically and mentally. I was lucky enough to meet some pretty fabulous people in Tonsai who introduced me to this new hobby. All I want to do it get better at it! Part of me is overwhelmed by all of the "things" I have already set out to master but part of me is telling myself there is time. There is time for everything that I make important. So this is a new important obsession. Yay! The other one is slack lining. The locals in Tonsai are some of the most epic slack liners and rock climbers I have ever witnessed. These people grew up walking on tightropes and rocks, like it ain't no thang. It's so cool. They spin fire poi, staff and juggle fire on the slack line! I was beyond impressed! I didn't see anyone fire hoop on the slack line so that's another new challenge I have set for myself. Create a slack line-burlesque routine as well as master slack line-fire hooping! Woot! I can do it! I can do anything I set my sights on! And so you can YOU!

Rock climbing w/ Laura's help!

There was a crazy rainstorm for a couple days while we were in Tonsai. It reminded me of the dust storms at Burning Man because it made you run for shelter no matter where you were or who you were with. It forced you to make new friends and get drunk in the middle of the afternoon, for lack of anything else to do :) More poetry...

Everything is wet
Breathing in the beauty
Absorbing and reflecting it
Breathing in the green
Lush and drippy
Giant leaves
Jungle love

I am in love with all of the new friends I made in Thailand. Interesting, open-minded people who I hope to see again someday. I had intellectually stimulating conversations about modern gender roles with a mixed group of people from Iran, Austria, Germany and America. I got to know some of the nicest Canadians ever (of course!) and lots of Australians who were way too much fun :) Connecting, laughing, playing, learning, admiring and sharing with each other. Leela and I hooped everywhere we went! We hooped in the hostels, the bars, the beaches and even at the temples. We taught locals and travelers alike how to hoop :) There will be a Thailand Hooping Video coming your way soon! Singapore performance pictures can be found HERE and our travel pictures are HERE.

Amazing new friends!

More highlights from Thaiand include: street food (all of the food!), tropical fruit shakes, Oh wait...just the tropical fruit in general! fresh coconuts to drink everyday, Thai massages that cost $7, tuk-tuks, the Sunday market in Chiang Mai, Thai cooking school, riding motorbikes (on the left side of the road) up to the Doi Suthep in Chiang Mai, thunder and lightning storms, rainbows everyday, ocean sunsets, waterfalls, the Pai canyon, fireflies, monkeys, SpicyPai and Kit, Julie's Guesthouse, Mama's Chicken, painting each other with neon paint because it was the full moon, Chang beer, lots of spliffs, beautiful seashells, Toffee & his band, Maxi...all the Tonsai locals actually...Bao and Lai and Zero and Yoni and Dee...the Sunset Pirate Bar, the Sawadee Bar, the owners and family at Pasook, holding Leela's hand hanging in hammocks in Pai and getting closer with her than ever before, laughing with her and going through a lot together, OMB (Oh My Buddha!), Boom!, "Shake, Shake...Shake Everyday", "Why not?", Same Same but Different, kayaking, hooping with the ocean as my partner, Ben and his infectious enthusiasm :) Thai reggae, and the kitties everywhere!  

LED Hooping at the Singapore Grand Prix

We left our bungalow made out of palm trees on the beach and went to Singapore to perform at the Grand Prix. We were put up in a fancy 5 star hotel and the woman at the front desk actually asked me if I wanted someone to carry our backpacks to the room! I had to laugh. Coming from hippie-land and ending up there was quite the change. What a gig! The most amazing one I have ever done. There is no question about that! People carrying all of my props for me and my own private dressing room?! Yes please! So spoiled! The event was HUGE! Thousands of people, bands, DJs, art, other entertainers, stages and of course the races zipping through the streets of Singapore constantly. I performed 3-5 sets a day so pretty much one Fire/LED set per hour for 5 hours. It was hard work because it was super humid and extremely hot! Lots of fun though! People loved it, I loved it :) It was win-win. Jovi was our assistant/helper the whole time and we loved him! So sweet and really on it. On the last day we had a longer break and walked around the event for an hour or so. What a bizzare experience! The races were so loud we had to wear ear plugs just to walk around. Then we couldn't really communicate with each other so we just gave each other weird faces and laughed a lot. Damn it was sweaty there!

Fire Hooping at the Singapore Grand Prix

Now I am looking forward to producing a Day of the Dead themed show on Nov 3rd, teaching and performing in San Francisco Oct 19th weekend and then touring England & Ireland in Nov-Dec. More soon. Thank you. Thank you for reading this, being in my life and inspiring me to continue to do what I do. Thank you universe. Gratitude!