OpportUNITY

Unity has always been an important concept for me. So much so that I took it as my playa name the first time I went to Burning Man. I laugh at my young, naive self for taking such a silly, hippie name 12 years ago - but my connection to the concept still rings true. We are all one. We are all made up of the same material on the cellular level. The tress, rocks, earth, insects, plants, animals, stardust, the homeless person on the street, the billionaire across the globe - all of us are truly connected. How you treat each other is how you treat yourself. 

As I start to dismantle my understanding of life as I've always known it - I realize that even the belief in this concept comes from my own privilege. Who is to say that this idea of unity isn't true when I've never really had anyone challenge it? Almost everything I've been able to do, thought, believed and understood comes from being born in this particular skin color in this particular country. 

This definitely feels like a lot to take in. 

But it's nothing compared to the hundreds years of oppression, violence and incarceration that black people have endured in America. My discomfort in coming to terms with my own privilege is negligible. 

I have signed up for virtual 'Anti-Racism Circle' with Charlene Parker which starts tomorrow. We will be going through Rachel Cargle's 28 day #dothework Course and then Layla Saad's "Me and White Supremacy" book. I have started both. I have already felt the winds of change, the blowing open of understanding, the BLOWING UP of everything I thought I knew. 

One quote in a paper that Rachel has included in her course by Peggy McIntosh really rang true for me: "I was taught to see racism only in individual acts of meanness, not in invisible systems conferring dominance on my group." This is completely how I was taught about racism. I was raised in an open-minded, non-racist home. I was taught to accept everyone for who they are, not what they look like. I thought I was good with that level of non-racism. Turns out, nope. That is definitely not enough. 

Even though I was raised in this non-racist (but still lacking) way, I was still surrounded by mostly white people my whole childhood. In school, in my neighborhood, all of my friends, even all the way through college. This is modern day segregation which is described very well in this video. 

We've also been watching documentaries on Netflix, listening to podcasts (recommendations below) and generally assaulting ourselves with information on white privilege and systemic racism every day. We've been digesting and processing this all with really meaningful and in depth conversations. It's intense. It's the least we can do. I'll also be donating the proceeds to each first week of Zoom classes I teach for the next 4 weeks to 4 different organizations that fight for black lives: Bail Project, Black Visions Collective, Campaign Zero and Unicorn Riot.

Still this doesn't feel like quite enough. 

I know there are a lot of us feeling like we can't do enough to help. Engaging in re-education, taking a harsh look at ourselves and our white privilege is a good start. Here's what I've been reading, watching and listening to:

Books
Me and White Supremacy by Layla Saad
How to be an Anti-Racist by Ibram X. Kendi
The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander

Documentaries
13th (Netflix)
Just Mercy (Amazon)
I'm Not Your Negro (Amazon)

Podcasts
1619 on NY Times
The most recent shows from This American Life and Radiolab also touch on issues surrounding our current situation.

Something important to remember is that this really isn't about me. At all. I'm just writing this a) to help process it all b) to inspire / support others in their journey to start to dismantle white supremacy and c) to stand up for Black Lives. 

This is a truly heartbreaking time. On so many levels. It's so disappointing to see how in some ways we really haven't changed. The same things are being protested they were 30, 40, 50, 60+ years ago. But it's also provided us with an opportunity. An opportunity to research and learn, to grow, to change and to take action to reverse these devastating years of systematic racism. So take this opportUNITY to grow and dive in.

What's been helping me

I read a post recently from @rainbowplantlife about what she's been doing during this crazy time to help her get through it. I found it super inspiring. I realized I have honed lots of tools which might help others. I've basically been in my own lockdown for over a year (ok maybe that's being a bit over dramatic) but I have had to find resolve, get creative and re-imagine my life due to out-of-my-control circumstances. It has been really challenging but some good stuff has come out of it. I've been training for this quarantine for all of 2019 💪😂 #stayathome #ohiknowhowtostayathome #twosurgeriesdown #andnowapandemic #igotthis #wegotthis

Here are the things that have been helping me. What has been helping you? I want to know! I want to hear what you've discovered, what's been beautiful, what's been hard, all of it!

Artist: @asjaboros

12 things that have been helping me

1. Morning Pages

If you haven't read The Artists Way, I highly recommend it. The main thing I've taken from reading it is her morning pages. Every morning I wake up and write three pages worth of whatever comes to mind. It's like a brain dump. I try not to reach for my phone, but instead reach for my journal. This has made the world of difference in my daily life. I am kinder to myself and others. I remember my dreams. I have wisdom flowing out of me, that I need to hear. It has been one of the best things I have done for myself lately and I highly recommend it.

When I am struggling in life, my instinct is to use the tools I know I have to help cope - journal, meditate, talk to a therapist, etc. But I find that the pressure of writing in a journal b/c I know I SHOULD, that I must write about THAT THING that's bugging me, is forced and I end up never doing it. But, the Morning Pages do not have that caveat. You literally write about anything. And of course things you're worried about or struggling with will naturally come out.

2. Meditation

Right now the Chopra Center is offering a 21 day free guided meditation and it's all about HOPE. How perfect. Also, Thich Nhat Hanh (the founder of the Buddhist monastery Deerpark in Escondido) is running a free Mindfulness Wisdom Summit for the next 5 days.

3. Eating Healthy

Sounds like an obvious one but I have been diving even more than usual into making super nutritious, beautiful food. I have recently found @rainbowplantlife to be a wealth of inspiration. I've also been doing Noom thanks to Sassy Stiletto's recommendation. And while yes, I have lost weight - the thing I love about it even more is how many more fruits, veggies and whole grains I've been eating. I thought I ate a lot of them before! If you have Noom questions let me know.

4. Walks

I've been going for daily walks around my neighborhood and it's been lovely. Definitely recommend getting outside to get some vitamin D and get your steps in. With proper social distancing of course!

5. Hoop or Dance Everyday

Put on your favorite up-beat song and hoop! Or dance! Even if it's only for 5 minutes. It reminds you why you're alive! Here's a fun playlist of my favorite upbeat songs to hoop and dance to.

6. Hobby

Find something you've always wanted to do and do it. Have you always wanted to knit? Cook? Paint? Learn a new language? A new musical instrument? Dive right in, you might find you never want to come back up for air. Take a class. Find online tutorials. Find the online community who's into your new-found passion and connect. My current obsessions are sewing and photography. Are they yours too? Email me back and geek out with me!

7. Don't read everything about it, every day

I made the mistake of reading super scary, sobering articles right when I woke up and it ruined my whole day. I certainly stopped doing that! Obviously it's important to stay updated and know what we can and cannot do on lockdown but I don't recommend starting out your day with despair.

8. Do and don't do

I freaking love checking things off my to do list. I live for that sh!t. The over-achiever in me instantly decided I wanted to make sure that every thing on my current To Do Lists were done by the time we are out of quarantine. I like my ambition! :) I am definitely trying to stay productive but also trying to be gentle with myself about it. We are going through a lot and we deserve to be kind to ourselves, now more than ever.

9. Finances

Currently every way my companies were planning to continue on as companies has been put on hold for the foreseeable future. Maybe yours too. Maybe you've been laid off. Wow how scary! How are we going to survive? One thing that has helped me a lot is getting a real picture of our finances. I figured out what exactly we're subscribed to each month and which things we can live without for a couple months until things go back to normal. Again a simple, maybe obvious thing to do, but it's helped my peace of mind to know exactly where we're at.

10. Gratitude

Every day Bags and I make sure to tell each other how grateful we are to have each other through this crisis. How we have a roof over our heads, we have food and enough saved money to last us for at least a little while. A warm bed, You know the little things in life :)

11. Therapy

This one has helped me go through what was the roughest year of my life, 2019. Which will now be referred to as #TheDarkness - haha! There are lots of low-income options in San Diego (let me know if you need that info). Also if you don't want to leave your house but think you could benefit from therapy. I've heard of Better Help which is an online therapy service. Haven't tried it myself but it could be worth investigating.

12. Read

I have been devouring books lately! If you want some good fiction recommendations, let me know. If you are a female in San Diego and want to join the book club I started, let me know. I got a library card which is FREE and has tons of books and audiobooks. Between audiobooks and podcasts, I am thoroughly entertained while going on my morning walks and working on my hobbies.

Bonus!

13. Marie Kondo

This is something we did while I was recovering from my knee surgery. I read her book (loved it) and we Marie Kondo-ed the sh!t out of our apartment and garage. I highly recommend it, especially if you're stuck at home at the moment.