You can't always get what you want

I can't stop singing the Rolling Stones song. It's something I guess I needed to re-learn. 

I am a firm believer in choosing your own destiny. Making intentional decisions to create a clear path leading you to what you want. Ever since I took on this attitude with conviction it has, for the most part, worked. Set intentions. Be clear about what they are. Write them down so they are present physically in the universe and to create accountability....viola! Watch your dreams come true. Sometimes, the universe has other plans for you. Sometimes you can't get what you want. It's in these moments - the challenging, frustrating, unexpected moments when your true character shines through. How flexible are you? How creative? How can you see the positive side? 

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it and join the dance"  - Alan Watts 

Ancient Castle Moat Hooping in Sicily

This quote has been repeated in my head for a couple days now. I was unexpectedly refused entrance into the UK for allegedly "seeking employment". Ironically, Swhoop and the World Burlesque Games, the only two commitments I had for the 6 weeks I was planning to be there were just for fun. I had saved up money working at the San Diego Zoo this summer and was planning to spend that time in Bristol investing in myself. Between volunteering for 3 months in Nicaragua, a knee injury that lasted way too long and working at the Zoo 7 days a week for a 67 day run; I have not been able to invest in myself much this year. Coming home from the UK this week has definitely been one of those harsh you-can't-always-get-what-you-want moments. In the wake of the incident I have to say I've learned my lesson (the hard way) and have found as many positives in the situation as possible. Now I really can focus on myself. I've signed up for a month of unlimited yoga at Corepower, started the Blogilates workouts daily, will be embarking on the Whole30 day food challenge (vegan paleo - no gluten, sugar, alcohol), will actually get to go back to Lyra class at AR and *gasp* take belly dance class from Sabrina Fox again! All of these things are things I've wanted to do this year but for whatever reason couldn't. Well now I can. Thanks UK Border Control!

Vegan Sicilian Food!

Before attempting to go to the UK, Bags and I had the honor of participating in the Ursino Buskers Festival, located in Catania, Sicily. It exceeded my expectations in every way. Sometimes messages come in asking you to go to remote parts of the world and perform your art. This one seemed like it could go either way. When the offer came in, it sounded exciting and perfect because we were already planning to be in Europe the week before and had no commitments at that time. A rarity. We'd never done a street show before though! Our style of performance lends itself to street and it's something we've both wanted to do for awhile but hadn't done it yet. Now we have! It was a great way to ease ourselves into actual street performing since we didn't have to draw a crowd, the festival itself did that for us. 

We had about a week in Catania. We taught two workshops....in their ancient castle! One of our workshops was in the dried (now covered in grass) moat of the castle. Yeah we taught hoop dance in a moat :) Our workshops were well attended and the hoopers were absolutely awesome! Such sweet people who welcomed us with open arms and took amazing care of us. We got to stay in the house of another artist performing at the festival only 2 minutes down the road. Walked through the various markets. Bought delicious fresh veggies. Paraded down the main street with the artists of the festival while a live samba band jammed all the way. We found vegan versions of the local food like "arancini" which is a fried rice ball usually with cheese and/or meat. We found vegan ones! We had granita which is a rich, sweet flavored ice dessert for breakfast, more then once. Pistachio and almond were my favorites! We connected with lovely people whom I'm sure I would be friends with if I lived there. We found our tribe!

Parading down the streets of Catania

Our performances were unforgettable. We did two 15 minute shows and one 5 minute act. The first night we did great but had a couple minor drops. We also didn't know how to talk to the crowd before or after our show since my Italian from living in Rome 8 years ago is gone and the people of Catania don't speak much English. It was kind of awkward putting a hat down without a word. The next night though we absolutely killed it! In our whole 15 minutes, we had no drops! Bags did his 5 club routine flawlessly and our hoops act was seamless. It was one of the happiest I've been from a performance. Complete bliss. With the help of Giulia, I prepared a little something to say in Italian after our show. Giulia was our tour guide, interpreter, fellow hooper and has become our new Italian friend :) We love you Giulia! So I spoke in Italian through a microphone (!!!) to thousands of Italians!!! They loved it! Needless to say our hat was much more full the second night. 

I can't even begin to imagine how much work went into creating the Buskers Festival. There were over 5 spots all within walking distance that had different performance art - circus, theater, live music, fire dancing. There were vendors, activities for children and workshops. The Gammazita bar organized it, which is run by a collective of Sicilians. They have made their area in Catania safer and more culturally rich. They run regular cultural events like film screenings, language courses and circus classes. They informally adopt local kids with hard family lives. These people are amazing. I am so grateful to have met them and experience Catania in this way. Thank you Giorgia, Giulia, Flo, Mic and all the others who put it together! See ALL of the pictures from our Catania trip HERE.

Performing in the Aerial Revolution Showcase - Sept 2011

Attaining the Unattainable: Perfection

- and -

You Just Never Know

This blog was actually meant to talk about my experience working at the Zoo this summer! There is just so much (good and bad) that has happened since then that I had to get it all out. SO rewind three years ago to when I was teaching regularly at Aerial Revolution. I performed in their showcase in September of 2011. It was a fun show. Nothing extremely memorable about it but fun nonetheless. I always enjoyed performing and teaching with the AR crew. They rock! Turns out Rachael and Pete Wray were in the audience that day and really enjoyed my piece. I remember them coming up to me after the show to tell me that it was their favorite act! Fast forward to March of this year, I get a message from Rachael asking if I know any hoopers who could perform at the Zoo this summer. My first thought was...me?! So I asked them if I could do it and they were also looking for another performer for that stage - Bags was the perfect fit! How lucky were we?! We got to do a regular gig in San Diego together. I mean, sheesh!! Exciting stuff! This proves that every show you do, no matter what it's for, how much you're getting paid, IF you're getting paid, matters. Every. Single. One. You never know what it could lead to!

Click here to watch my hoop solo from the Zoo

We changed our summer plans and were sad to not have attended EJC, the Heart & Hoop Dance retreat in the Netherlands and the German Hoop Convention. (Bags got to go!) BUT we had an opportunity of a lifetime! For awhile now I have dreamed of an extended contract gig. Something to bring in a little financial stability and help hone my craft. This was exactly the opportunity I was waiting for. When it all came together it was like the clouds opened up, the sun shined through and the choir started harmonizing in my head. Heavenly! 

I did 4 shows a day for 65 out of the 67 day run. That, plus the parade every other day made for approximately 293 shows. Wowza! That's a lot of shows! It was quite an experience. There were both some serious highs and lows. Looking back at the happy faces Oooo-ing and Awwww-ing at our show and hooping with the kids afterward was amazing. Getting to perform with Bags everyday kept me laughing, smiling and on my toes. I loved getting to know Kasey our hand balancer - she's a talented, smart, opinionated badass. Working with the whole cast and crew actually was unforgettable. Each person was so talented and brought something different to the table. 

Click here to watch Bags' juggling solo from the Zoo

Most of the hard parts for me were what happened psychologically and mentally. You'd think my first gripe would be about physical hardship. Yes exhaustion that was a factor but really what I think I got out of it was how to work through the experience mentally. With that many shows, there was bound to be a certain amount of error. There's just no way around it. We put specific tricks into our routines to help make them stronger. Doing something that many times will make you better at it right? Well it wasn't always that straight forward. There is no science to it, turns out. Even if you do something 300 times, you can still struggle with it on the 301st. I expected consistency, had an extremely high expectation for myself and strove to attain perfection. That led to disappointment sometimes and then probably mentally hindered me for the next show (or even during the show). It was a cyclical thing. Somehow I broke down enough to break through the cycle and come out on the other end! 

Click here to see our duet

I found myself actually daydreaming while performing! When you do something that many times, you start to think about what you're going to cook for dinner, what show you're going to watch when you get home, etc. I had to snap myself out of that and remind myself to Be Here Now. Completely in the moment. Also I found fun ways to concentrate, or actually take my mind off of the hard tricks (because sometimes when you concentrate too much it messes you up - sometimes you just have to let your body do it). Whenever we got to a certain section that required extreme concentration, I would think about happy positive words that weren't loaded with anything performance related. So thinking the word "perfect" or "seamless" didn't work because it was too much pressure. Instead I would think "cupcake" "sprinkles" "rainbow sherbet" :) It worked!

Those ups and downs, those break-downs and break-throughs; that process IS perfection. The experience in itself and what I learned from it is just...perfect. 

All in all, regardless of how hard it was at times, how tired, sore, hot, sweaty and cranky I got, I am still immensely grateful for the experience. Remember that dropless show I talked about earlier in Sicily Bags and I had? I truly believe that was possible because of all the practice we got in this summer. With a couple weeks space from the gig, doing our show again felt more solid and comfortable then it ever has and that is largely due to our work at the Zoo. I feel SO much more confident juggling and multi-hooping, two things I want to be solid at. So thank you. Thank you Pete & Rachael Wray most of all for trusting us to do our best this summer and taking us on board as part of the team. Big thanks to the entire cast of awesomeness, it was a pleasure to meet you and get to know you. I hope we all get to do it again sometime :)

Dreaming Circles in Nicaragua

Watch our Nicaragua Hooping Video HERE.

The combination of traveling somewhere new, an obsession with hooping and hanging out with someone whom I respect, admire and inspires me has done amazing things to my brain. I am absolutely buzzing! The thoughts, the words, the ideas, the poetry - it's all racing through me. Gotta get it all out. That's what this blog is good for...

I just got back from an exciting adventure in Central America with Bags! He is currently living in Nicaragua for three months and working with Performers Without Borders. PWB's main goal is to "teach performing arts to vulnerable children in countries of high child poverty." I got to see firsthand how amazing this project is! It seems to be truly effective and I hope to work on a project like it one day.

Cutie at the Barrileta School

During the first two days of my trip, I went to the Barrileta School where they've been teaching hoop, poi, juggling, music, stilt walking, diablo, staff spinning, acro, etc. for about a month and a half. The students performed 2 shows for an audience including other students, the PWB team, teachers and parents of the community. The first show included some traditional Nicaraguan dances as well as clowning acts and circus arts they've learned from PWB. What a fun, funny and vibrant culture they have! 

The next day they performed only the various circus skills they've learned while working with PWB. I was completely impressed! Stilt walking and juggling/hooping at the same time?! Full-on 6 person balanced pyramids with someone standing on top juggling?! Epicness. They seemed really happy, confident and stoked to be building these skills. One of the teenagers read aloud a letter she had written (in English) to the team, expressing their gratitude for the time spent teaching them such amazingly empowering hobbies. It was extremely touching and meaningful! 

Bags hoopin' at the cool park we found in Matagalpa 

I had fun on the second day during the free-time just hooping, dancing and playing with the kids. They were so excited to see the team everyday, running up, hugging and jumping on the team members. The kids had so much love to give. Even though I couldn't communicate with them very much because my Spanish is basically non-existent, I could still interact with them through body language, facial expression and play. This type of interaction helped me realize the universality of human nature. We are just people. We're all humans. We all want the same things in life. We all just want to love and be loved. Somehow my brief interactions with these kids exposed me to this realization in a whole new way.

After that project was complete, we headed to Matagalpa, a mountain town in central Nicaragua. We wandered through the town, soaking it all in...exploring the parks, the cathedral and the shops. We drank cold Tonas everyday, the Nicaraguan beer. Ate the standard meal of beans and rice with plantains at the "comedors" (dining room) - which literally felt like you were eating in someone's living room. There was usually a mom-like character cooking your food for you (delicious!), possibly some bookshelves with family pictures on them, a TV on in the corner and a few tables with modest table clothes covering them. We drank coffee locally grown in that region and ate frozen bananas covered in chocolate. YUM!  

One of my favorites days was when we hiked to the top of a mountain overlooking the city. I felt like we were super resourceful travelers! Bags had done some research in an outdated guidebook which mentioned a Centre that provided hike outlines. We could have hired a guide to take us but what's the fun in that? Through asking various people and looking at a map, we happened to find the Centre with the brochures and picked out a few hikes we wanted to do. The brochures were in broken English with instructions like: "When you get to the water pump, go under the roof covering the pump, find the side of the pump the handle is on and then go through an opening in the fence on that side." Huh? We were sure to get lost but we were up to the challenge and getting lost is half the fun anyway! 

On our hike

And we did. We got lost, had to backtrack, had to ask locals in broken Spanish which way to go, accidentally walked through people's property with angry dogs barking at us, laughed at the blank stares coming from village children as we walked by in crazy circus clothes and hoops strapped to our backpack....the usual :) But what an adventure! We romped through mountains, forests and villages. I saw a snake! We saw huge beautiful multicolored butterflies and all kinds of lovely trees. There were farm animals in the villages - chickens, cows, donkeys, horses, dogs and cats everywhere. When we made it to the top, it was so worth it! We went straight up to the viewing tower, cracked open a bottle of wine I brought from home and ate some much needed snacks. The view was spectacular! 

We made it to the top!

We had super intense and wildly satisfying hoop sessions as well. Before coming to visit, Bags told me he had 12 pages of new hoop material he had thought up! 12 pages! Swoon :) We only touched on a fraction of the material but still covered many epic partner moves that came from that brilliant brain of his. When we juggle-partner poi-hoop together, it makes me feel like I can do anything! Like I am an invincible super hero....a hooper hero! It is a feeling like none I have ever experienced and I actually remember feeling it the first time I met him in San Diego years ago. We went to the grass in OB to have a play b/c he was in town to teach workshops. Without actually explaining his partner Z-Spin sequence to me, he just started doing it with me and it was like I already knew the moves and their order even though I had never done them before. I remember being stupefied by this. You can imagine how this synergy has been intensified by the month we spent playing together in England and the countless hours I have spent practicing while away from him. I have to say I am proud of my progression. When we came back to play in Nicaragua, it was like we never left each other. I have never met someone who makes me want to practice so much! He really makes me want to get better and I feel like I am instantly better just from sharing the same airspace as him :)

View of Matagalpa

We shot some video in another beautiful scenic location overlooking Matagalpa - HERE it is. We are trying to create awareness and interest in our cross country US Workshop tour from June - September this summer! Woohoo! I will be focusing on that project now that the Burlesque Circus show is over. Oh and how could I forget to mention...The Burlesque Circus was an EPIC display of beautifully crafted performance art expressing endless passion for the fusion of sideshow and strip tease! We sold out both nights, rocked the house with inspiring performance, raised money for the US tour and created rippling feelings of empowerment for everyone involved. Thank you for coming if you were able to make it! Some of my favorite feedback includes:

The Burlesque Circus

"...this show was so amazing!!!! By far the best $20 I've probably ever spent. All of the performances were so detailed, emotional, sexy, powerful! I was especially inspired by seeing all the beautiful body types being so clearly valued in burlesque. I'm a bit closer to getting on stage myself because of what I saw at your show! Thank you!" - Keli Lalita

"Thank you for putting on such an amazing, sold out show last night! All of the performers gave me a new definition of what is possible in the arena of dance, movement, and expression. I was frequently at a loss for words. Can't wait for the next show!" - Daniel Walsh

Needless to say it was a success and I can't wait for the next one! Mark your calendars for the weekend of June 14th-15th!

What's coming up this month? Anah Hoopalicious is coming down to SD THIS weekend to teach 2 days of workshops! 

THIS Saturday night is Breaking The Chains: A burlesque Benefit for Autism at Sunset Temple. 

Saturday, March 16th is Bobby Burlesque's Fantasy: Masquerade Show in LA! BUY your tickets asap!

April has all kinds of goodies as well! Stayed connected to know about all of it.